September 16, 2024 
André Herrlich After four hours at the computer, I am completely overwhelmed. I had imagined things very differently when I signed up for FilipinoCupid a few days ago. But let me start at the beginning.
Why FilipinoCupid at all? To be honest, I have had bad experiences with platforms like Tinder. I always felt that they were only trying to take my money without anything really coming of it. Though I did not even try Tinder in this part of the world — my interest is in the Philippines.
Actually, I want to move to Thailand someday, in the distant future. But a friend told me I should only make that decision after I had been to the Philippines. In any case, I already have a business trip to Malaysia in October and want to spend four weeks on holiday afterward — in the Philippines. I have been separated for almost three years, and it is time for someone new by my side.
Getting to know someone locally while also using the four weeks to see something of the Philippines sounds unrealistic to me. So my plan is to get to know someone online and meet them in person at the latest when I am there. Six weeks seem like enough time for that.
FilipinoCupid has a few competitors. My impression was that it had the worst reputation among them when it came to fakes. And I expected to run into one or two “gold diggers” there. So I was careful about how I built my profile. Even so, it seemed to me like the site with the largest number of profiles. Ultimately, that was what decided it for me.
After signing up a few days ago, today was the first day on which I actively searched through profiles and replied to previous messages. And what can I say? I read a lot of messages today. There had been more than 120 since I signed up.
My personal rule is this: Even if I am not interested, I at least write a friendly rejection. A little encouragement to keep looking — but it will not be with me.
That way, I filtered out around 100 contacts. Too young — that was one of the main problems. So many 18- to 30-year-olds were interested in me and my 47 years, while I did not return that interest. People that young are not what I am looking for. I want someone who has their life together, someone who knows what life has to offer — someone who is no longer only dreaming, but pursuing realistic goals.
In the end, around 20 contacts remained. Selecting, replying, and researching the profile pages took me a little more than four hours.
This evening feels ambivalent. After getting through this marathon of replies and filtering, I find myself thinking about it. With other platforms, I am used to the opposite: being completely ignored. Here, I did nothing. I only created a profile and was practically buried in notifications.
Now, this evening, I keep thinking about what it must be like for women on Tinder who also receive thousands of messages. Do they take the time to answer them, or do they simply ignore them? Can I keep this up over the next few days? It is time-consuming and exhausting.
More than anything, I wonder whether I can stay true to the idea of the person I want to be. That matters to me more than what might come of these contacts. Right now, I am simply overwhelmed by the situation — maybe even out of my depth.
In six weeks, I will know whether this effort was worth it. Whether something comes of the 20 remaining contacts. Whether my trip to the Philippines becomes more than just a holiday.
We will see what tomorrow brings. And whether I have the energy to keep doing all of this.
